“Oh Merlin,” Blaise says, horrified. “Potter is going to defile you in the family box. I’ll never be able to sit down with Arthur and Molly again.”
“Hah!” Draco points a finger at him. “You admit you’ve had to go to the Cannons as well!”
Blaise rolls his eyes. “I married a Weasley, Draco. It’s the family religion; one must endure their uncivilised customs—” He breaks off as Ginevra’s voice calls out from behind him.
“Oi, I heard that, clever clogs.” Her face appears in the Floo over Blaise’s shoulder. “Hullo, Draco. So you and Harry, eh?”
Draco gives her a long-suffering glare. “Not that it’s anyone’s business—”
Ginevra grins at him. “Hung like a hippogriff, isn’t he?”
This is sort of light and fanciful but mmm cannot rest. And even with the presence of a touch too much carnivorous 4 year old, if ‘femme’ appears in the space after ‘author’, a rec is a given. Plus any fic that kicks off with office sex is a goer.
(insignificant point but I really like the description of the auror uniforms - grey wool with addition stars for department head. Unusual and I liked it)drarry . era:posthogwarts . oneshot . l:medium . r:nc17 . c:DH . g:romance . g:humour . t:established . a:femme . a:noeon . auror!potter . auror!malfoy .
Um, ok, the thing about communal showers…
When did malfoy get so fucking fit? I mean he is still a git and obviously I don’t fancy him or anything like that, but damn!
Now wonder he thinks he’s it with a cock like that!
I must stop thinking about Malfoy’s cock
THIS PUTS THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE OK
Cute, inventive and original.
Plus I’m all about the happy feels right now. Sweary, coffee-medicating Harry is a quality Harry. And grammar correcting, snarky Draco is irrefutably the perfect counterpart.
H/D who don’t indulge in sex bets are not a H/D I recognise.drarry . era:posthogwarts . c:DH . r:pg13 . l:short . g:humour . g:romance . t:epistolary . t:established . t:aurortraining . auror!potter . auror!malfoy . ministry!malfoy . a:tarisue .
Summary: On the last day of the Auror training program, a series of interviews under Veritaserum will determine who each trainee will be partnered with for the duration of their career. Harry may learn more in the course of eight hours than he did in the previous three years combined.
Malfoy, for a brief moment, looked as surprised as Harry felt, but he masked it quickly and strode forward to accept his dose of Veritaserum. “Potter,” he said nonchalantly as he took the seat next to Harry.
Why was he being interviewed with Malfoy? Indeed he had long been over the animosity he’d felt toward the man in their teenage years—Malfoy’s quiet determination and refusal to engage in confrontation with his fellow trainees had made it surprisingly easy—but they had barely spoken in three years aside from the times it had been necessary for training. They were not friends, and Harry couldn’t think of anything they had in common, so why were they here together now?
I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned before, but I have such a hard on for quality auror training fics e s p e c i a l l y if veritaserum is involved, so this is almost too good to be true.I also cannot resist an awkwardly timed divulgence or any form of uncomfortably personal character testing.. apparently the only thing missing here is a fucking hot table shag but I suppose you can’t have everything. sighdrarry . era:posthogwarts . c:DH . oneshot . r:pg13 . l:medium . g:angst . t:aurortraining . t:veritaserum . t:infidelity . a:soulbound8688 . auror!potter . auror!malfoy . favourite .
“Keeping warm?” Harry asks, his voice low.
Draco nods, eyes flickering over Harry’s face. “I’ve fucking had it with being cold.”
The body pressed against him is warm and growing steadily warmer and Harry can’t think of a decent objection. Sleeping with your partner is probably against the rules and probably a sure-fire recipe for disasters, but he’s sick of being cold too, and the idea of forgetting about it for even a short while is a welcome one. Harry slowly moves to wrap his arms around Draco, palms splayed out over his back, and then Draco lowers his head to gently press his mouth to Harry’s.
Sometimes it’s simple.drarry . era:posthogwarts . l:short . r:nc17 . oneshot . c:DH . g:romance . g:humour . t:friendship . a:saraholmes . auror!potter . auror!malfoy .
“I have a feeling you’re going to take what I’m about to say in the absolute worst way possible,” Malfoy said. He paused thoughtfully. “I haven’t wanted anyone since sixth year.”
Harry’s eyes slid down Malfoy’s body.
After a moment, Malfoy said, “That would be taking it in the most predictable way possible.” His voice was warm, and sounded amused. “Eyes up, Harry.”
I always get excited by a fic that explores sexuality in an interesting way. Without wanting to label anything too specifically, Draco is presented as something akin to asexual for the majority of this story, and while that was a fresh and thought provoking take, what I most enjoyed was the idea that sexuality is fluid and perhaps undefinable. That it can shift - and I say that with an honest to god desire to offend no one who identifies strongly in one camp, or say that labels are obstructive because I’m a firm believer in ‘self-orientated governing’ and erasure is a very real thing. I just mean that if you approach this story with asexual!draco in mind perhaps the message can become a little murky, but from the point of ‘every individuals sexuality is unique to them’ it is much more impactful.
Lettered has a particular flare that I always revel in - the wit, the phrasing, the subtle hints of meta - her stories are always incredibly enjoyable but laced with complex themes that are somehow more digestible when presented in this joyous, sparky way. I loved the elements of an unreliable narrator in Harry and his characterisation - the casual air of arrogance that is unbeknownst to him, the impact of his celebrity on his attitude to sex/relationships - it was some of the best handling I’ve ever encountered.
I got such strong DDG vibes reading this, but skimming the comments it appears it wasn’t unintentional - fans of pining!harry will rejoice.drarry . era:posthogwarts . l:long . oneshot . r:nc17 . c:DH . g:humour . g:angst . t:sexuality . t:meta . a:lettered . auror!potter . auror!malfoy .
Abruptly, Draco let out an irritated sound and slumped over, his elbows on his knees and his head hanging.
“What’s the matter now?” Harry asked.
“Nothing’s the matter. Nothing I can do anything about, anyway.”
“Obviously something’s wrong,” Harry snapped. “Why don’t you rant a little and get it out of your system so we can both have some peace?”
Wow, I absolutely live for this sort of thing. I loved how the details within the narrative were introduced piece by piece, like the author was teasing us with the reveal. It is a display of confidence and self-assurance I respond to strongly for some reason; it’s like I know I’m in good hands.
Also it helps that this whole fic is predominately one tension filled fight (my favourite type of h/d if I’m honest). I especially enjoyed the “two-hander” aspect – the story paired down just to Harry and Draco’s sparring, where the intensity that exists between them could be given room to fester and be scrutinised fully. Other characters are referenced to though — in a smart and natural way — so the world still feels complete. The whole ‘Harry is a gay-sex virgin’ angle can often come across as cliched and cheap I find, but here it feels authentic, real and touching. Even appropriate maybe? I also really love kissing. In fics and life. I think it’s incredibly hot, powerful, free, intimate but safe and easy also. (This says a lot about me, and the issues I have with vulnerability) but kissing is something that can be given, enjoyed and shared, without the exposure of being naked and the expectations that come with it. It’s both huge and crushingly normal if you get my drift? (On a related note – I thought the passing focus on sexuality and how is differs so significantly person to person was subtle and wonderfully accomplished). I also loved how the fluidity of emotions is explored. They can be fickle and difficult to decipher whoever you are, but I loved that once Harry gets his thinking together he is all action and decision-making - canon to a fault.
“I’m sorry I’m so confused about how I feel about you!”
“Oh, no, that is not my only chance,”
Also 1) Harry you ninny, it’s because he loves you and 2) There is just something dirty and deliciously desperate about coming fully clothed, isn’t there? Dry-humping for the win~drarry . l:medium . era:posthogwarts . r:nc17 . oneshot . c:DH . auror!potter . auror!malfoy . a:rurounihime . g:romance . g:angst .
Mother very possibly did find out about your pornographic letters, if her sudden penchant for leaving copies of Witchery around the house was any indication. She left the magazines open at their centrefolds, which usually featured a lissome young witch in various states of undress, or molesting a broom, or — in one remarkable case — fornicating with a rolling pin. I was altogether unaffected by these pictures, aside from a certain academic interest and a belief that my mother had finally resorted to more Sapphic amusements. Imagine my shock when she revealed to me, over dinner one evening, that she had ordered these magazines solely to tempt me back onto the staid path of heterosexuality. I assured her that I had never walked this path, and as such could not be persuaded to return to it. She threatened — I resisted — she cajoled — I balked — until at last I escaped back up to my room, where I slammed the door and wrote you another letter in which I suggested that the next time we saw each other, you might consider sodomizing me with a rolling pin.
Ohmygodthisissogood! Epistolary fics ARE the best (noor!) mainly because you get all these extra bonus tidbits - like the evolution of how they sign their names or hila-rious email titles. Jesus, this is juicy juicy mangos excellent. Smart, scorching and a bit eccentric - in the most delightfully sinful way. Draco’s dry summarisation of their naughty goings-on is gold. I (literally) laughed out loud at Harry’s bumbling inarticulacy’s. And the recounting of his emerging gayness and brief psychotic tendencies. I loved Draco and his powers of omnisience. Harry getting busy with the Slytherin tie. Draco and his vocalising. “Insane sex demon” is an accurate estimation Harry - a rare moment of clarity for you. Also buy the potion, I would pay to watch that. And I will never look at a rolling pin in the same light again.
read this read this read thisdrarry . era:posthogwarts . l:short . r:nc17 . oneshot . c:DH . g:humour . t:established . t:epistolary . a:paraphilia . auror!potter . auror!malfoy .
Knowing what he is speaking of – clearly, unless we had a disagreed-on subject change, but asking all the same, “Why not what?”
“Why didn’t you hate me anymore?”
He exhales roughly and warns, “Potter,” and I almost want to make him angry, if only for his eyes.
“I have my reasons. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Why will you not tell me?”
My God, Draco, you’re a persistent fuck.
Because then you may leave. “Because then I may have to kill you.” He snorts. “And Merlin, Malfoy, biscuits are for eating, not for demolishing. Either you stick it in your mouth or put it away.”
“Stick it in my mouth, eh?”
I throw a muffin at him, blushing fiercely all the while. Stick it in, indeed.
I giggled and smiled like an idiot when reading this. Fics such as these make h/d for me. I love this type of writing. Delicate and poignant but still with a bite. I though it was delicious and whimsical, sexy and simple. Harry’s internal voice is charming and spot on. Herminone being all knowing yet unsubtle, perfect canon Ron, Harry with power he doesn’t use, Pansy and Blaise, Draco’s passion and the ideal Harry-was-nearly-a-slytherlin convo. This is just a beautiful, quirky, unique little piece.drarry . era:posthogwarts . c:DH . l:medium . oneshot . r:nc17 . g:romance . a:mentalistecbm . auror!malfoy . cookery!potter . g:humour .
“I think you should like Professor Snape now we know he liked your mother,” Malfoy decided randomly at some point.
“I don’t see why,” Harry said. “Doesn’t have anything to do with me. Besides I think its kind of weird and disgusting.”
“Not disgusting,” Malfoy protested. “Professor Snape is a very striking man! And your mother was-“
“Malfoy, if you finish that sentence I will push you out of the car.”
“What?” Malfoy said, outraged. “I don’t mean it personally. God, you know be better than that, not a redhead.”
“Nothing wrong with redheads,” Harry said. He liked bright hair: he liked the way it lit up a room, made places seem warmer and more like home.
“Your sexual preferences are bizarre and distressing,” Malfoy told him, ver solemn.
It took me a long time to get round to reading this but I’m so glad I did. It pretty much features everything I usual avoid bar mpreg (no offence meant if that’s something you enjoy). It’s a creature!fic which I rarely read, contains a pretty much resolutely straight!Draco, a LOT of longing and pining, a cracky premise and eccentricities by the fuckton, but y’know what? It comes together BRILLIANTLY. It’s long. I mean LONG, but the pay off is totally worth the hours of devotion. I love it when authors make me enjoy things I ordinarily hate, I feel so violated but I love it! Like the Draco Het, I mean Draco/Katie? It is so wrong but it works. God it made everything so juicy and heart-breaking. And how did I end up loving up her? I don’t want to give away spoilers but Draco’s meltdown..incredible. I so felt for Harry, he just can’t have an easy time of it can he? All of the attention; none of the love. Blaise is deliciously awful. DEAN. I absolutely revel in it when other characters hate Harry in fics! Draco and Harry’s partnership/rivalry/friendship.THE SPARING. Oliver Wood cameo. Louison. Fame Whore Zach. KINGSLEY. MALCOLM. REGINALD. Possessive, reckless, idiotically heroic Harry. An insanely hilarious, rambling Draco who cares much more than he’ll let on. Aurors. Double crossing. Mysteries.
This fic completely subverts the usual fandom cliches; Harry’s the gay veela Adonis but totally unwilling to exploit his advantage. Draco’s the heterosexual, one-women monogamy-fan, who’s utterly clueless as to how Harry feels.This is an absolute classic. Hysterical, full of drama, originalities and an epic roller-coaster of a tale. And more. READ.drarry . era:posthogwarts . l:long . oneshot . r:nc17 . g:humour . g:angst . g:romance . g:action . g:creature . t:friendship . a:maya . favourite . auror!potter . auror!malfoy .